Today, I just sent a patient home with very advanced pancreatic cancer. His wife took me aside before they left and thanked me for everything and said she wanted to make sure everything was in order for him to make it through the holidays without needing to come back into the hospital before beginning yet another round of draining chemo. His entire family was coming in for the holidays. They had plans for big dinners and lots of celebration. Everyone was waiting at home for them to return. They all knew what none of them could say... this may be his last Christmas.
What an awesome weight his wife must carry as she supports her husband and organizes his care with always the hint of a tear in her eye. What must it feel like to enter the holidays knowing it could be your last. To hug your children and know you will miss what remains of their life... the grandchildren you may never meet, the guilt of knowing you won't be there for them when they need you. As I said good bye today I prayed for him. I prayed for his wife, I prayed for all my patients facing what may be their last time of celebration, their last major memory of the most important people in their lives.
