Pee ... and poop

My life revolves around pee and poop. Poop by day, pee by night. Each morning I see all of my patients and my major objective, find out if they pooed, or at least farted (excuse me, I mean if they had flatus). If they pass the fart or poo test, they get more food and get closer to going home, hooray!

Now, add diarrhea into the mix and I become a poop consultant. What color, how runny, how solid, how smelley? Oh how fun to talk about poo. Meanwhile, I already rarely get to eat for running around and now I can't eat because I keep thinking about poo. Ughh.

At night, being on call is all about pee. At least one or two people who just got out of surgery is not peeing. Especially older patients. So my mission as intern of the evening is MAKE THEM PEE! Little bolus, big bolus, touch of lasix, wait, more fluid, wait, wait...now PEE! Yellow pee, dark pee, bloody pee, cloudy pee, I am the queen of pee.

Another week survived, only 257 to go. Yesterday I had my first day off! Unfortunately, I can't stop thinking a little about whats going on at the hospital. Looks like I'm hooked.