A day off

I have a day off today.  A surprise weekday off to prevent me from working 20 days straight. It feels great.  I went to the gym this morning, had a smoothie and then just came home and stood outside.  I just stood and stared at the trees behind my house.  I just stood and thought about my life.  I stood there, and I didn’t feel rushed or hurried.  I felt like I had all the time in the world to just stand and be still and look out at the trees.  Now I’m sitting on the floor of the deck.  I have no desire to actually sit in a proper chair.  I laid on the floor for about 20 minutes just looking up at the sky and closing my eyes when the sun got too bright.  I bathed myself in sunlight.  And, despite this solitary time of freedom, I thankfully feel clarity about my work and where my life is going.  I don’t want to quit like I do when things are hurried.  I feel ok.  I feel ok that I’ll be working this weekend.  I feel okay that I have at least 3 years of this left.  I feel okay with my choices and the fact that things are being postponed in my pursuit.  Ok that I can’t do everything.  I feel okay.

I’m off to shower now and enjoy the rest of my free day.