Better... (the sequel)

So, this year is so much better.  I know its still new and shiny and destined to dull and fray a bit, but its better.  I shock myself daily by how much less of an idiot I am than I think.  I actually know stuff.  I often don't realize I know it until interns ask me about things that have become 2nd nature to me now.  My calls are much better.  They are hard and tiring but I feel like I'm doing something that contributes to making things work.  I feel valid.  I don't think of quitting every five seconds.  For the first time since I started, I think I can honestly SEE myself making it through this process.  I love my days.  I see my ICU patients and consult patients and get to think through their problems and discuss what I think.  People actually want me in the OR.  I have lots of thoughts and lots to say but I think thats enough for now -- I'm tired and its late.  I just wanted to drop a note just to say that things are better.