I have two days left of night float. I survived the dreaded 6 week stint. I have to say though, that I'm not as thrilled for it to end as everyone expects me to be. True, the ER gets annoying and more of the consults are non-educational and unfullfilling, but for the nights when you get to see the good bread and butter general surgery stuff, or have good traumas where you can do a lot and actually make a difference, its worth it. I also think I might miss cardiac surgery a bit (at night I cover cardiac surgery in addition to ER consults and trauma). If it weren't for the fighting between attendings and the few terrible deaths over the past three months I think I would have really enjoyed the cardiac part. I like the critical care aspect. I've definitely developed in my ability to take care of acutely sick ICU patients and I've become a master of the ultrasound arterial line! Also, I think I like the solitude of night float. I've always known that I like the feel of the hospital at night - when its darker and quiet. I'm not exactly looking forward to getting thrown back into the fast paced madness.
On Wednesday, I return to the daylight and start my oncology rotation. Last year I thought oncology was the specialty I wanted to pursue. I'm not so sure now. My personality doesn't seem to fit with the people who chose it. And I'm not so sure I love the research which is a crucial part of the field. I'm also scared of facing one of the attendings that I'm writing a paper with - I get things done, but not with the ease that I'd like to. I will get to operate more, so I hope as Wednesday gets closer I'll at least be more excited about that.
Well, its bedtime for me (still on the night schedule). I've enjoyed my weird weekend of daytime sleeping. A much needed 2 days off. I feel re-centered (slightly). I wonder how long it will last this time!!
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