A few weeks ago, I saw a patient in the ER with belly pain. In taking her history I discovered that she had already had a tubal ligation (gotten her "tubes tied") and was only 24 years old! I wasn't even married at 24 and here was a woman who at 24 had determined that she was completely finished with her reproductive years. Most of my friends aren't even married yet, and only a few of those who are have kids. It baffled me the differences in the lives we lead. What normal can mean from one person to the next. My senior resident commented that we lead lives of delayed gratification. We delay the rest of our lives for our careers and the education it takes to get there. It made me wonder though, if we delay so much, will we actually be gratified in the end? I'm considering changing the name of this blog to delayed gratification - because thats what I'm really writing about. I'm constantly questioning if the sacrifice it worth it in the end, does the end even exist, or is everything just continually delayed and suffocated away by this quest for something I think I wanted. I want to go to Haiti for the relief efforts. Logistically, I'm not sure if I actually will do it, or if I have the guts. My husband, although he gets my reasoning, doesn't think its a safe idea. For me, it seems like it could be one thing that makes the "delay" worth it. A skill I have that I could use to actually matter and
make me truly be proud of my profession. I need to feel something that comes from me. Some sense of honor and purpose, not the corporate, political, unnecessarily expensive, over-resourced system I work in day after day.
FYI - see post below as well, I just posted two in a row.
3 comments:
awesome, i got referenced in a blog! i like "delayed gratification" as a name for a blog. just try not to trash the senior resident too much, even if he is an idiot... (sorry again)
all is forgiven! YAY, last day of night float!
Hey! J & I want to go too...we're looking at late March or April. They won't take us now because we're not medical personnel, but you could go any old time...its just something I feel that I *need* to do. If they would take me now, I'd go. And when they're ready for civialians...I will go. That's just my perspective. Totally understand Shane's concerns.
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